Caz251's Fiction Both Fan & Original
Title: His Mother’s Eyes
Author: Caz251
Summary: Severus Snape's and Harry Potter’s relationship is nothing like it appears to the public.
Characters: Severus Snape, Harry Potter, mentions of Lily Potter
Spoilers: General Spoilers nothing specific
Warnings: Angst
DISCLAIMER: Unfortunately I don't own Harry Potter, I'm just playing in JK's sandbox. I own nothing but the plot, please don't sue, I'm a penniless student.
Author: Caz251
Summary: Severus Snape's and Harry Potter’s relationship is nothing like it appears to the public.
Characters: Severus Snape, Harry Potter, mentions of Lily Potter
Spoilers: General Spoilers nothing specific
Warnings: Angst
DISCLAIMER: Unfortunately I don't own Harry Potter, I'm just playing in JK's sandbox. I own nothing but the plot, please don't sue, I'm a penniless student.
Harry knew that he should have left years ago, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it, no matter Severus’ wrongs he loved the other man. They had got together after Harry had graduated, Voldemort no longer a problem, having been destroyed the month before. Many people had vilified the relationship between the Saviour of the Wizarding World and a Death Eater, but Harry had stuck to his guns and defended their relationship to everyone that spoke out about them.
No matter how often he defended their relationship he knew that there were still people who were bemoaning his fate, believing him to be bewitched. In a way you could say that he was, he had fallen completely under the other man’s spell. It started off as an infatuation, but quickly turned into something more, he fell in love with the snarky dungeon bat of Hogwarts.
His feelings were inconsequential to the masses though, the sheep of the Wizarding world claiming them to be artificial. He was after all claiming to be in love with a Master of Potions. As his feelings could be potion based they tried instead to dissect Severus’ feelings for him. When they were in public or with other people Severus always showed that he loved Harry, and eventually one by one the Wizarding sheep backed off. No longer did he have to defend his relationship, the papers were now turning it into the greatest love affair of the century.
It wasn’t though, not a love affair anyway, he may love Severus, but the other man didn’t love him. The man was a great actor, he’d have to be to have been able to spy on Voldemort for as long as he had, but he wasn’t fooling him. Their relationship was rotten to the core, he knew that he wasn’t the one that Severus loved or wanted, but even though he knew this he couldn’t leave.
Severus’ infidelity broke his heart bit by bit, but he couldn’t leave him, he loved him. Severus wasn’t unfaithful in body, Harry was the only one who shared his bed, but rather in mind. Severus had never really been with him, although it was his body from which he derived his pleasure, it was never him that the man was thinking about as he pounded him into the mattress.
It hadn’t been long into their relationship that he realised that the other man’s feelings were nothing like his own, in fact it was the first time that they slept together, but he was sure that the other man’s feelings for him would grow. The first time Severus had taken him to bed Harry had expected the man to be accommodating, knowing that he was innocent, but instead he insisted upon seeing his face as he came, not the most comfortable positions for someone’s first time. He then pushed Harry away from him as soon as they were finished.
Time went on and it became glaringly obvious that what he wanted from their relationship was not the same as Severus did. No matter what the Potions Master may think he was not stupid, and he worked it out fairly easily, it didn’t take a genius to work it out after all. There was no closeness between, only a physical closeness during sex that disappeared straight after. It wasn’t him he loved but something in the sex with him.
He’d thought about it for a while, then about what he knew about the other man, and his previous interactions with him, and finally came up with the answer. He’d worked out why the man would only touch him during sex in private, why he always had to see his face, and why he wasn’t allowed to shut his eyes when they were intimate. The hatred Severus had for his father suddenly made sense, the man had had his mother’s love, something that Severus had wanted above all else.
It wasn’t something that Harry had confronted him about, and he didn’t think he ever would, after all how would someone go about starting that conversation. ‘I know. That when you are pounding me into the mattress you are thinking about my mum.’ No, it wasn’t something that he would ever mention to the man, as he knew that it would hurt the other man in a way, and he couldn’t bring himself to do it, no matter how much the other man hurt him.
He knew that he should leave Severus, he was destroying him bit by bit, but he couldn’t, the man did not love him, however that wouldn’t stop Harry from loving him. Harry had always thought that loving someone was to make them happy so that’s what he strived to do, he would make Severus happy, even if it killed him a bit more inside each time.
Harry still held on to the thin shred of hope that one day Severus may come to love him, but he didn’t think that it would be soon. Even with his now long auburn hair, the man still didn’t focus on him in bed, but rather a memory of something he had never had. Although he wished for Severus’ love he couldn’t be disappointed when he didn’t receive it, while it hurt he could carry on without it, after all you can’t miss something you’ve never had.
No matter how often he defended their relationship he knew that there were still people who were bemoaning his fate, believing him to be bewitched. In a way you could say that he was, he had fallen completely under the other man’s spell. It started off as an infatuation, but quickly turned into something more, he fell in love with the snarky dungeon bat of Hogwarts.
His feelings were inconsequential to the masses though, the sheep of the Wizarding world claiming them to be artificial. He was after all claiming to be in love with a Master of Potions. As his feelings could be potion based they tried instead to dissect Severus’ feelings for him. When they were in public or with other people Severus always showed that he loved Harry, and eventually one by one the Wizarding sheep backed off. No longer did he have to defend his relationship, the papers were now turning it into the greatest love affair of the century.
It wasn’t though, not a love affair anyway, he may love Severus, but the other man didn’t love him. The man was a great actor, he’d have to be to have been able to spy on Voldemort for as long as he had, but he wasn’t fooling him. Their relationship was rotten to the core, he knew that he wasn’t the one that Severus loved or wanted, but even though he knew this he couldn’t leave.
Severus’ infidelity broke his heart bit by bit, but he couldn’t leave him, he loved him. Severus wasn’t unfaithful in body, Harry was the only one who shared his bed, but rather in mind. Severus had never really been with him, although it was his body from which he derived his pleasure, it was never him that the man was thinking about as he pounded him into the mattress.
It hadn’t been long into their relationship that he realised that the other man’s feelings were nothing like his own, in fact it was the first time that they slept together, but he was sure that the other man’s feelings for him would grow. The first time Severus had taken him to bed Harry had expected the man to be accommodating, knowing that he was innocent, but instead he insisted upon seeing his face as he came, not the most comfortable positions for someone’s first time. He then pushed Harry away from him as soon as they were finished.
Time went on and it became glaringly obvious that what he wanted from their relationship was not the same as Severus did. No matter what the Potions Master may think he was not stupid, and he worked it out fairly easily, it didn’t take a genius to work it out after all. There was no closeness between, only a physical closeness during sex that disappeared straight after. It wasn’t him he loved but something in the sex with him.
He’d thought about it for a while, then about what he knew about the other man, and his previous interactions with him, and finally came up with the answer. He’d worked out why the man would only touch him during sex in private, why he always had to see his face, and why he wasn’t allowed to shut his eyes when they were intimate. The hatred Severus had for his father suddenly made sense, the man had had his mother’s love, something that Severus had wanted above all else.
It wasn’t something that Harry had confronted him about, and he didn’t think he ever would, after all how would someone go about starting that conversation. ‘I know. That when you are pounding me into the mattress you are thinking about my mum.’ No, it wasn’t something that he would ever mention to the man, as he knew that it would hurt the other man in a way, and he couldn’t bring himself to do it, no matter how much the other man hurt him.
He knew that he should leave Severus, he was destroying him bit by bit, but he couldn’t, the man did not love him, however that wouldn’t stop Harry from loving him. Harry had always thought that loving someone was to make them happy so that’s what he strived to do, he would make Severus happy, even if it killed him a bit more inside each time.
Harry still held on to the thin shred of hope that one day Severus may come to love him, but he didn’t think that it would be soon. Even with his now long auburn hair, the man still didn’t focus on him in bed, but rather a memory of something he had never had. Although he wished for Severus’ love he couldn’t be disappointed when he didn’t receive it, while it hurt he could carry on without it, after all you can’t miss something you’ve never had.
